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Old 24-11-2008, 07:55 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default Jokes. 'The Second Edition'

Who's got a good one ?
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Old 25-11-2008, 02:54 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Hi nosmo,
ME ME ME! Can I go first please I got one

A DRIVER on his way home from work in London comes to a halt in a jam and thinks: This traffic seems worse than usual"

After a while, he notices a policeman walking towards him between the lines of stopped cars. He rolls down his window and asks: "What's the hold-up?"

The Officer replies: Gordon Brown has stopped his car up ahead and is threatening to douse himself with petrol and set himself on fire.

"He says he is fed up because everyone blames him for the sorry state of the economy. He says he is unfairly taking the blame for the credit crisis, the rising cost of food and fuel and soaring taxes.

"Anyway, we're holding a collection for him.

The driver asks: "So how much have you got so far?"

The Policeman says: "About 30 gallons, but a lot of people are still siphoning."
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Old 25-11-2008, 02:57 PM   #3 (permalink)
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One more

A boss is sat in the office one morning when one of his employees, who had a terrible history for taking time off, phones in:
"I'm sorry, but I'll not be able to come in today as I'm too sick."
On hearing this his exasperated boss could barely conceal his anger and retorted in a rage: "well, just how sick are you exactly?"

"Well" the employee sighed, "I'm in bed with my sister!"
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Old 25-11-2008, 03:00 PM   #4 (permalink)
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OK just one one more then I gotta go

A man and his wife were awakened at 3:00am by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push.
"Not a chance," says the husband, "it is 3:00am in the morning!" He slams the door and returns to bed.
"Who was that?" asked his wife.
"Just some drunk guy asking for a push," he answers.
"Did you help him?" she asks.
"No, I did not, it is 3:00am in the morning and it is pouring rain out there!"
"Well, you have a short memory," says his wife. "Can't you remember about three months ago when we broke down, and those two guys helped us? I think you should help him, and you should be ashamed of yourself!"
The man does as he is told, gets dressed, and goes out into the pounding rain.
He calls out into the dark, "Hello, are you still there?"
"Yes," comes back the answer.
"Do you still need a push?" calls out the husband.
"Yes, please!" comes the reply from the dark.
"Where are you?" asks the husband.
"Over here on the swing," replied the drunk.

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Old 25-11-2008, 11:28 PM   #5 (permalink)
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i could post my filthiest jokes , and there's no one to ban me lolz
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Old 26-11-2008, 10:20 AM   #6 (permalink)
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lol but im watching steve lol pmwl
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Old 26-11-2008, 11:52 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by koimaster View Post
lol but im watching steve lol pmwl
yes!! but nothing can be done lmao
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Old 26-11-2008, 04:09 PM   #8 (permalink)
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I'll try a little tiny naughty one and see what happens


This bloke is always failing to turn up for work and phones his boss.

"I won't be in today, I'm sick".

The boss has had enough of these lame excuses and shout back angrily,

"OK JUST HOW SICK ARE YOU"?


The bloke replies, "I'm in bed with my sister"
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Old 26-11-2008, 10:36 PM   #9 (permalink)
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we have had that one flipp have you missed your meds
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Old 26-11-2008, 11:20 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Oh!
I'm off the medication for now LOL, that probably explains it

Matron is making me stick to the diet, I'm a mere shadow of my former self

Someone sent me this link it's a bit of a long read and not a joke as such but made me laugh.

http://www.madcaow.com/blog/2007/07/24/agent-picolax/
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