flipp

I'd like to express my opinions too...


...er



...um



Hang on. I'll think of one and get back to you

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Mostly harmless

flipp

Found one, it should be safe enough to express an opinion on this one.

It has been revealed today that the Queen has her own private wrestler working as her protector in Buckingham Palace.

David Hintz, 23, is a rising talent on the British wrestling circuit as well as a full-time footman at The Palace.

By day David's job is to stand at the side of the dinner table in case Her Majesty requires his assistance and on ceremonial occasions he will ride on the carriages ready to protect the Queen.
But by night (and weekends) David lives his dream of being a professional wrestler.

Mr Hintz, who is 5ft 11in, has tried to keep his fights secret from his colleagues at the Palace.

Flipp edit: so don't whatever you do talk to the press then

"I sometimes find it difficult to juggle the roles because of the travelling required for the wrestling," he told The Sun.

The Queen is a big fan of wrestling and in the 1980s she was famously hooked on the sport thanks to the likes of Big Daddy and Giant Haystacks.
David, who fights under the name ‘David Deville', has a fan base of nearly 800 people and his fight taking place this weekend will be screened on Sky. Perhaps one special fan will be tuning in?



What happens when she tinkles his bell?

Anyone fancy imagining Mrs Q in a leotard? Didn't think so


Ready? Here it comes!


IMHO I think she's a bit old for him

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Mostly harmless

nosmo

mercury doe's the same thing but ALOT quicker ! just a tiny drop can cause such a mess lol

as it is highly toxic it is NOT reccomended so don't try this at home or anywhere

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Builder with a fishy thing

flipp

Thinking about it matrons cooking has done the same job for years

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Mostly harmless

flipp

The neighbour looks over his fence and sees little Daisy filling in a hole with a mound of earth... so he enquires
'what are you doing Daisy?',
the little girl replies
'just burying our goldfish...'
the neighbour chuckles and exclaims...
'isn't that rather a large hole for a goldfish...?'
to which she replied...

'yes it is, that's because its inside your f*ckin' cat...'

Here's the video version

http://tinypic.com/player.php?v=214155y&s=4

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Mostly harmless

flipp

An Amish woman and her daughter were riding in an old buggy one cold blustery day.

The daughter said to her mother, 'My hands are freezing cold.'

The mother replied, 'Put them between your legs. Your body heat will warm them up.'

The daughter did, and her hands warmed up.

The next day, the daughter was riding with her boyfriend who said, 'My hands are

freezing cold.'

The girl replied, 'Put them between my legs. The warmth of my body will warm them

up.'

He did and warmed his hands.

The following day, the boyfriend was again in the buggy with the daughter. He said,

'My nose is cold.'

The girl replied, 'Put it between my legs. The warmth of my body will warm it up'.

He did and warmed his nose.

The next day the boyfriend was again driving with the daughter, and he said, 'My

penis is frozen solid.'

The following day the daughter was driving in the buggy with her mother again, and

she says to her mother, 'Have you ever heard of a penis?'

Slightly concerned the mother said,' Why, yes...?! Why do you ask?'

The daughter replies: 'They make one hell of a mess when they defrost, don't they?'

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Mostly harmless

flipp

Police have finally admitted they got it wrong in the shooting of Jean Charles de Menez.

It was his naughty brother Dennis they were after.

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Mostly harmless

koimaster

this maths test can predict your all time hero.
try it without looking at the answers....
pick a number between 1 & 9 ,then x's it by 3 , then add 3 then x by 3 again.
you will get a two digit number , add those numbers together to get your all time hero , it must be:















1.robert de niro
2.alex ferguson
3.bob marley
4.winston churchill
5.elvis
6.john lennon
7.bono
8.al pachino
9.koimaster
10.eric cantona

flipp

OK hero as it's Crimbly time lets see how good you are at this

http://www.eyegas.com/sproutifarts/

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Mostly harmless

koimaster

brill game scored 5854